Tuinhuis milonga, Utrecht

All photos by Ojo Oscuro, with thanks

DJ Astrid

  

I had heard nice things from locals and travellers about the Tuinhuis milonga and I already wanted to go. (see http://www.tangokalender.nl for future dates). It is in Utrecht about thirty minutes south east of Amserdam . This was before I realised the milonga is run by Laura whom I had met when she came to dance at the Glasgow Saturday afternoon practica a few years ago. She sang tango songs for us over thick hot chocolate in the cafe afterwards then several of us had dinner together. I was just starting to dance the other role and meeting and dancing with Laura inspired me. She was warm, strong, gentle and confident and has danced both roles for years. I had seen her a only a couple of times since then but she had brought gifts for my children when we met on another flying visit to Glasgow. When she heard I was coming she invited me to stay.

It was October now and the first day of my second weekend this year to the Netherlands.  I had enjoyed September so much.  At least four of us went through the communal garden to the room belonging to the housing project to set up the milonga.  It did not take long.  Later, people brought food and drink to contribute. The DJ was local, Astrid. There was a mixture of alternative and trad music. I think the tandas alternated between the two. I don’t have many notes about the music so I must have danced most of the traditional tandas.  

Laura and Henk sang songs including Caseron de tejas:

The atmosphere here was warm, happy and relaxed.  I think this is what this milonga is known for.  There was a great variety of dance, different styles and experience but my first impression was that it all somehow seemed to work. 

If you need a very traditional format, formality, codes then this will not be for you and the organisers make no pretensions to be or to offer this. They are offering something different. But I really enjoyed this milonga. I'm not sure there were any tables. Some people stood especially around the kitchen area but it wasn't a big deal and as I have said before that makes for easy socialising which can be a godsend if you are alone and don't know anyone. I travel alone a lot and know from experience if a milonga does not have good seating options for solo dancers  then I would rather it had a good area for socialising where I can meet and chat with people.  The only place where I have seen good seating for solo dancers is the way it's done in trad milongas in Buenos Aires where the host seats you with others but inexplicably I have not heard of a single busy milonga in Europe that does this.  I wish they would! 

I danced first with people I knew from milongas in Rotterdam (review) and Amersfoort (review), proving that the more you are known in a place, the more you’ll probably dance. 

The time seemed to pass so quickly. I did not have time to dance with any women or with the guys I hadn’t had enough time to watch. I had just got to the point (after three hours) of thinking about one or two guys “Actually, yes” (had they still been interested) and starting to wonder about the invitation/acceptance ritual when suddenly the milonga was over.

My best guy dance of two days later (in Oosterpark) had been there it turned out, but I didn’t know that then. I would travel to Antwerp and back before I met him.  It’s so great to be in a room of dancers where you are both 6’ (183cm) tall and more and neither of you notices the other!

Dancing after Christmas: Eton

Space in marriage is often helpful and I am lucky to have plenty of it. It is never more necessary for all couples I feel than after Christmas, before the divorce statistics peak in January. For the last few years I have gone away to dance for a few days and for some time alone. It is good timing for me who ordinarily looks after the children and it is nice for my husband who is away so much to have some time with them.

The first year I did this I went to TangoMagia a now-defunct festival in Amsterdam. I went not for the classes, just to dance a lot. By then I had been dancing about 18 months. The second year I went to to the Etonathon milonga weekend west of London. Last year I went to the Brighton milonguero cuatro, then to Eton, then to festive milongas requiring no pre-registration in Hertfordshire, London and Cambridge. 

I am not going to Eton this year. I like that you can pay on the door, I am delighted there is no gender or role balancing, the floorcraft is famously good and it never lacks home-made cake. The floor is good, the venue nice if cramped and short on tables and seating for those numbers and it is very crowded. 

I first went to an Eton milonga in 2013 and started going to its special events the following year. After going for a while to milongas in the south of England and becoming known, I always enjoyed going to Eton. It is many peoples favourite milonga. Even so in both 2014 and 2015 I have felt the multi-day events rather too much like meat markets with women especially sitting literally centre-stage for a good shot at being invited or loitering against pillars casting desperate sheep's eyes long after the time for them to sit down has passed. Some were not unwilling to block other dancers' line of sight during the cortina and once experienced that habit can unfortunately be contagious. I find that peculiar to dancers in the south of England, London particularly. Last year at Eton in chat I discovered a lot of women who had not danced, or hardly danced over three or four days which saddened me. I don’t like a competitive feeling in milongas, that "Choose me, choose me":

"That's why Eton multi-day can be such a hard environment for girls. You have to be really tough, really confident, really pushy in a terribly toned down but bright smiles sort of way. Brash really. It's competition - not that anyone means to do down anyone else, but they want what they can get and will stand and block and be hard and bright to try get it. I can't bear any of that. I've heard it called "making the most of one's opportunities" which might be opinion but struck me as equivocatory at best."

There are always extra women which never bothers me or presumably those who go. But then I know dancers across the south, dance both roles, enjoy other aspects of milonga life as well as dance and have experience surviving attending tough milongas alone and with only faint(?) scarring. If you are unknown Eton is another milonga which it can be hard to break in to. Depending on the usual various things - mostly who you know and the compatibility of your character to the settings - it can be difficult. On the other hand it also has probably more good dancers in a single place than I have seen anywhere else in the UK.

Another factor about Eton multi-day events is that I don’t think I have ever heard a DJ at one of them who was as good (for me) as Charles, who co-hosts that milonga with Sarah. Indeed I have heard there some weak to catastrophic great variety in DJing.

Eton multi-day events are much-loved by many and have perhaps a growing number of devotees although I found the last night of the final day (DJ Diego Doigneau) very quiet when I was last there. 

Just now though, personally, I would rather attend the ordinary Eton milongas instead which I would expect to be less frenetic and more relaxing.

Cuartito Azul milonga, Rotterdam

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The Cuartito Azul milonga was outside, beside the Maas river with a superb view. The skies were huge. The cityscape stretched across the opposite bank. There was a light wind but it lovely, especially when sunny, provided you danced so you didn't get cold. Although I was still surprised to be here, I loved it and would recommend this milonga next summer in good weather, mostly for the wonderful setting. I was told this special event runs only occasionally in the summer so you need to stay informed. 


The dance floor was on the decking of a hotel with a special temporary floor laid on top just for the day and was better than I had expected. With people helping clear it away at the end it was done in five minutes. It was a kind of soft plastic taped down to what turned out to be many MDF? boards which surprised me. These had been laid on top of the restaurant's outdoor decking. The whole, plus I imagine, the speakers were loaded into a small trailer. Nice chairs and tables were provided by the restaurant. 


The dancing attracted many spectators - more than I've seen at any outdoor milonga. Some of them sat at the tables around the dance floor but many stood watching, taking photos and even filming. 


The entrada was only 4 euros. There was a bar outside, provided by the hotel and a restaurant inside. A very small glass of wine was I think 3 euros, a European sized bottle of water 5 euros. Though the water was expensive I thought as an overall package it was good value for what was nearly 5 hours of dancing in a wonderful setting. 


The music was mixed, probably 70% trad. It started with a wholly great Donato tanda which got me immediately in the mood. I’ve noticed that before when rhymthic upbeat Donato starts a milonga. There were good trad tandas in e.g. Biagi, D'Arienzo, Donato, half good Lomuto, mostly good Fresedo and some repeats of all those orchestras (and some tracks) at the expense of other orchestras. There was very late De Angelis vals with singers which style I also heard at the Waterlelie milonga in Leiden. When my friend arrived later, I said: 
- "You said the music was traditional!" 
- "If I had told you it was a mix you wouldn’t have come", he said, probably correctly and I was very glad that I had. 





Amazingly, I kept my seat, though for a while people came and went from it.  A woman appeared and shared the table, then moved. Another woman arrived with whom I became and remain friends and after that it became definitively ours for the duration. With the chat and the fixed place although I knew next to no-one there it became very relaxing. She and I danced Biagi, under the sun, beside this capacious river, beneath huge skies and to this great music.  Dancing in these conditions with this nice person and others there I became aware that it was one of the closest ways to heaven I expect to get. It was during this afternoon that I started to think I wanted to come back to the Netherlands again. 


I only wanted to dance with four guys besides the guy who had told me about the place.   One was a scruffy, trendy young guy. I heard he was a teacher but danced well. I didn't try to dance with him.  He looked like he was out to have a relaxing afternoon with a beautiful girlfriend and some cool friends.  I didn't dance either with a much older guy because I was told he was shy/reserved and mostly only danced with one woman. Of the two guys I did dance with one was heavenly, matching the day.  I thought he had tried to invite for ages, but I was not yet convinced. Eventually he walked up to invite me during an alternative track and I said no thanks.  Later, when the choosy lady had joined me, she told me he was gorgeous. Still, I waited until I saw him dance. I was sure it would be great but now I had refused him directly.  When I happened to be passing behind his seat on impulse I went up during the D'Arienzo and asked if he still wanted to dance. This guy was quiet and playful, great for me.  He was my guy dance of the weekend. 


In general the guy dancing wasn't great with many couples in a simulacrum of an embrace. Rotterdam apparently has a reputation for a nuevo style (see the website image for a clue) and while the DJ, Hugo, danced that way almost no others did. 

I only danced with three women that day through choice but am still friends with two of these. One walked up to invite me towards the end of the milonga to an alternative track.  I was surprised but realised I recognised her from chat in Leiden.  I don't like turning down women in circumstance like these but I cannot dance to this kind of music.  I tried to dance it, failed and apologised.  Then it was late De Angelis vals which were a bit better.  Later still we danced D'Arienzo tangos.  Finally, we were dancing properly, "intuitively" she said.  "What a difference!" we agreed.  Another woman said another time that this partner was a very sensuous dancer and I realised it was true.  Of all the women I have danced with, few fit the description better. I was astonished and delighted to discover she is a grandmother!


The ronda was busy at times especially later on and hard to move. The photo is taken when it was quiet.  Generally though floorcraft was, despite the style of dancing, amazingly good, better in general than I could manage. I bumped into a Latin looking guy who was very kind about it and there was a slight collision with someone I couldn't see. I automatically waved a "sorry" hand to the couple I couldn’t see and - adorably - an invisible someone caught my hand and stroked it which must rate as one of my top moments on any dance floor.  


I had dinner nearby with a friend before getting the train back to Amsterdam.  All told, it had been a simply lovely day.

Underground milonga in Amersfoort

It was Saturday night after the Waterlelie milonga and I wanted to keep exploring and dancing. I went on to the Underground milonga in Amersfoort.  Details: Oude Fabriekstraat 20, Amersfoort. 20.30 - 01.30, Entrada 8 Euros.

I went by train from Leiden with a guy I'd met at the Waterlelie, also on a bike. 

It was busy. There was booth-type seating down one long side, although this photo (for the more traditional milonga in the same venue) suggests it is more likely the chairs were just turned round, booth-style, to face one another. This made it less easy to invite because you could only do so by standing nearest where the photo is taken at the bar/short end (above left). Here too you can see the makeshift bar by the entrance and behind it very limited seating, lounge-style. In memory it was darker than it seems in the photos but not impossible for invitation by look. The floor was like chipboard but was OK. The photo below shows the semi-industrial feel to the place and the start of the booth-type seating on the right. 

I think Arthur (?Abel) was the DJ - you can see the DJ spot under the speaker in the top photo. The music felt like 50% alternative which was more than was advertised. I think it was in the format of one tanda alt, one traditional which made things easily predictable for chat or to step outside for air. Most of the trad tandas were pretty good for me. The atmosphere was relaxed but by this stage I was relaxed anyway. 

I danced initially and off and on with the friend I had arrived with and twice with a Dutchman in swapped roles because he had a lovely smile, lots of adorable white Dutch curls and was willing. He enjoyed it, therefore so did I. People were tolerant about the swapped roles and smiled.  As you can see there were women dancing together too. I danced with a young guy I'd seen or was to see around and that was about it. One or two guys asked discreetly and politely for dances but I never felt pressured or hassled. The men looked easygoing and relaxed - so different from the more uptight UK. 

It was not thereafter easy to pick up dances with girls and only partly because of the seating/room arrangements. I was hesitant because I was not sure who I wanted to dance with, not having been focused on the girls and they hadn't seen me much either. 

I haven't been recently to many alternative or semi-alternative milongas in the last two or three years - only St Andrews and that not lately - but I was starting to realise it is not unusual to find in them a warm and relaxed atmosphere. I am glad I went but I didn't fancy enough of the dancing at the Underground and after a couple of hours - by about midnight - had had enough and got the train back to Amsterdam. 

I heard from several people there is a nice trad milonga in the same venue called La Roca.

Waterlelie milonga, Leiden

On 13 August I put my hired bike on the train in Amsterdam - or rather, some nice guys did it for me - and made the short trip to Leiden. I had heard the town was pretty but wanted to get to the milonga on time. After cycling through some residential streets I soon arrived at a fenced in deer park. 

The structure with a triangular roof is a pleasant tea house also serving food. It has indoor and outdoor seating. Many people though brought refreshments to share at the milonga so there was a spread of snacks and juices. 

I was welcomed by co-host Peter who introduced me to Mariane. Entrada €4.

Visibly, the floor is under the roof of what we in the UK would call a bandstand. The setting was lovely. As is often the case with outdoor venues the floor was concrete and poor. (Much) talc was provided. Still, I heard from several people that this is their favourite milonga. It ran during the afternoon I think from 2 or 3pm til about 7pm. There are only the few seats you can see to the left but conversation as well as invitation by look were all easy. The atmosphere was very relaxed and I enjoyed it. 

Music

Peter was the DJ. I have a note that the music was better than at De Plantage by which I think I mean that the good tandas were fairly reliable. The orange thing you can just about see in the top photo is the tent which covers the DJ equipment. The music turned turned alternative after six, as advertised when numbers thinned considerably. Someone commented that numbers always drop off when this happens. Peter said he plays tango-vals-tango-milonga as he has found this creates the right energy. 

There was Manuel Buzón early on. I don't have a note of the tracks but listening to his Al Verla Pasar (1942), it is nice but for dancing I think I would always crave the Laurenz and this distraction would disappoint me for Buzón. In fact, I know that is the case from when Adrian Costa swapped this track in to a Laurenz tanda (for fun!?) and I found it so distracting I had to go and ask him about the track later. I wonder if I would like it better with more familiarity or in a wholly good tanda. I like the singer Amadeo Mandarino but the arrangement, the pairing of Laurenz’s orchestra with Martín Podestá I find incomparably better. I wasn’t surprised for a moment when I saw the recordings are from the same year. You can often hear a proximity, a similarity in feel between the same tracks recorded by different orchestras but in the same year though the quality between them varies. The only track by Buzón I have a note that I heard in a milonga around that same time is Fueye (also1942, also with Mandarino).  It is likely I heard it in that milonga but I can't swear to it.  I have heard this track in some milongas and (with the reservation that I am insomniac at 5AM) I think it is OK. Until I hear it more I am sceptical that it is good enough to get that true pull that makes one want to dance.

After that I danced a lot though I remember deliberately skipping tandas occasionally because of the music. I have a note of one tanda, a De Angelis vals with Carlos Dante and Oscar Larroca in duet: the first two tracks were Lina (1956) and Adiós, Adiós (1955). They are extravagant but I rather like them. I have heard them before but they are not common where I usually dance. They remind me of Antti Suniala somehow, though I haven’t heard him DJ. I heard this kind of vals more than once in the Netherlands. I do not entirely trust my note for the last track which says it was Soñar y nada más (1944) with Dante/Martel which I think does work in this combination, never mind the dates. There are many great vals recorded in 1944 but even so I think those De Angelis vals of the forties have a polish for that time and fit well in the fifties. Many might have played Como las margaritas (1952) which is nice music but I prefer it for listening.

You can hear how distant De Angelis was from some other orchestras then when you compare one of his 1944 vals with one of the same year by an orchestra forgotten for all but historical reasons, say, Me duele el corazón by Porfirio Díaz, sung by Carmen Del Moral. It sounds almost like a street organ-grinder especially when you compare that with the Caló/Iriarte version of the same year.

Dancing

I didn't see much really nice guy dancing but the fact is I met early a guy from De Plantage (review) and we danced quite a bit. After that I met another guy (see below) and and danced with some women so didn't have as much time to watch and take things in as much as I might ordinarily. A woman swapped roles to guide me who hadn’t had lessons in the guy's role. It was lovely. There was a child, older than mine there with some relatives, an uncle and perhaps a grandmother. He danced a lot and seemed in demand. I was impressed.

I met this guy here. 

I got talking to him by the snacks.  I hadn’t seen him dance but he had the lean body, clothes and shoes of an habitual tango dancer.   A good milonga started and I just kind of assumed we would dance. He agreed readily but for his part expected me to lead it, since I asked him.  I thought this entirely fair, and we danced many tracks changing roles often.  

I was reminded of a conversation from a couple of years before with someone else:

A: When I invite a woman and she says: oh, but I can't "lead", or can/do you "lead"? The better response would be....?

B: In a real milonga?? Her better response would be to decline the invitation of someone who is not making clear whether they are a guy or a girl.

But I think we danced together too much and in the wrong way for some because a guy I’d made an agreement to go to a milonga with afterwards came to cancel.

After a few days we realised we had irreconcilable differences of opinion about various things but he has unusual, interesting, questioning and challenging perspectives about the tango world. You can read his views if you sign up to the newsletter about his travels here.

De Plantage, Amsterdam

Bar, left; entrance at the far end.  I sat near the right hand corner.

One Friday night in August I biked from west Amsterdam to De Plantage, a Friday night milonga in the city that had been recommended by locals and visitors. This was as usual a solo trip and although I had gone to the last TangoMagia festival in 2013 this was the first regular milonga I went to in the Netherlands. 

Near my lodgings the Haarlemmerstraat and Haarlemmerdijk were lively with people spilling out of the shops, bars and cafes. If felt like theatre. The area was full of the mingled smells of weed-smoke and spice. 

The tunnel under the IJ (a sort of bay) was closed so there were roadworks going on and I lost my bearings. I coasted up to a group of what I took to be workmen in high vis vests though I was a surprised to see at least one woman too. I said I was a bit lost. A tall, friendly guy with a lovely manner stepped forward. Holding his rollup he took my phone in his other hand to see where I was trying to get to. “Do you trust me?” he said to soften the surprise of finding myself giving my phone to a stranger. He explained where to go in his near flawless English. Not for the last time in the Netherlands I tried to imagine the reverse scenario: a Glaswegian workman switching to Dutch to help a tourist. Maybe not but they are helpful in Glasgow. It is rare that I don’t find people helpful pretty much everywhere. The guy had indicated a large boulevard opposite where we were standing  from which traffic was heading towards us . “Not the other side?”, I said, indicating the other lane where the traffic was going the way he was pointing. Perhaps there was a cycle path I should take on the side he was indicating. “It doesn’t matter. Either side. You’re in the Netherlands”, he said, smiling. Seeing me hesitate, “That’s the safer side”, he agreed. "Well, I’ll do that - I live in Scotland" I said, unrelatedly, meaning “It’s my first evening here”. 

Entrance

The area around the milonga was much quieter than the one I had come from.  It starts late for me, used to UK hours:  2215 to 0200. Entrada was €5. I wasn’t sure who the host was. I wondered if the guy on the door was Argentinian. Later I saw him manning the bar. There was an area for coats and bags.  Feeling optimistic, I wore heels for the first time since May.  I asked a woman in the ladies about seating here and if invitation was by look. She said it was. I sensed she was quiet and confident.  Later I saw her sitting in the corner left as you come in where I noticed were some teachers who had been strutting their stuff. They were also sitting by the good partners of the guy I wanted to dance with though he stayed near the bar. 

Salon

The salon was lovely - a good size and shape. The lighting was OK. There was an unnecessary, distracting and to my taste naff video projection on the wall above the entrrance.  Prosecco at the bar was  €3,50 and the water I asked for came free with it. I think there was cake for sale. I bumped into Wim.  He runs Tango at the seaside which I haven’t been to yet. I enjoyed our dance but discovered the floor to be extremely slippy.  I was glad it was Wim I was dancing with.  I watched him choose good partners efficiently, dance and leave early. 

Music

The DJ was El Irresistible. I went to ask him about a track and realised there was a display. He was courteous but I found the music, largely from the Golden Era, not what I prefer, with many tracks I do not hear in the milongas.

Ronda and dancing

The ronda I remember as fine. There were a few nice dancers though inevitably most of these were women. There were also guys who looked like they could dance but with whom I sensed no compatibility.  In any case, they did not invite me or I missed them since I was keeping an eye out for invitation from only a couple of guys. Having just arrived in the country I was happy to watch and listen.  I had a sense from several guys of much ostensible confidence and certainty  - of wearing the right clothes, dancing the right way, doing the right, traditional thing.

Two guys walked up for dances.  I turned one down who invited in the cortina but danced with him afterwards when he tried again by look.  The other made it very difficult to refuse. I accepted a man beside me with whom I had chatted. After quite a while I decided to take a chance and accepted a man who had been trying to invite by look for a long time and from a distance. He shook my hand in introduction between tracks and danced at me rather than with me.  My knee was hurting from forced pivots and dancing that was not light and relaxed.  I decided to quit on the guys. 

I changed shoes to see if any of the women would twig.  While perched on an empty seat waiting for a pause in the music to get back to my seat a man struck up conversation.  I was grateful he did not use the opportunity to pressure me to dance.  I'd given my seat to him earlier so he could chat with his female friend who was sitting by me.  I took this photo from the end by the entrance. The glassed in room above the floor is for smokers.

Taken from the 'good dancer' corner - they were dancing.

Back in my place the women I would have liked to dance with were on the same long side as me but seated at the far end.  Feeling moving to invite by look not sufficiently discreet, I decided against it. How I miss Buenos Aires where in good milongas seating is such that you can easily see the people you want to dance with. 

I love to dance D’Agostino with quiet women, especially if I don’t know them. The woman beside me had struck up conversation and later we danced the first track of that tanda. I discovered with surprise afterwards it was the first time she had danced with a woman. You often can tell, but not in this case. Many of the woman I danced with in the Netherlands were lovely - dancing closer, more relaxed and more connectedly than many British women. 

But the tanda, as so often was unreliable. I didn’t think I could do any justice to my partner with that track and was worried all the remaining tracks might be off too. I asked if we could see what the next track was but someone was waiting for her to go anyway. Still, she came to say hello the next month at La Bruja. I regretted quitting and was frustrated by the music: not least because the third and fourth tracks were simply lovely. 

Atmosphere 

I found the people I met open and quiet, some wanting to chat.  I was introduced to a lovely man in his eighties with a disarmingly positive attitude. He sang in my ear and was delighted when I told him the men in Buenos Aires do the same.  He does not fly and will never go.  A woman I heard speaking English smiled broadly at me before I left. A good woman dancer said goodnight before she left. 

I heard the milonga’s fourth Sunday incarnation is busier and more open when more people come from outside Amsterdam. It starts much earlier and there is food. 

I liked the venue very much though with two long sides I wish there was optional separate seating for guys and girls so that you can see more easily for invitation by look and to reduce the likelihood of guys walking up.  The atmosphere was reserved but not unfriendly.  I think I would go again, preferably with a partner or friends and ideally on a Sunday but the biggest problem for me was the music though I know many would not mind it.

Tormenta Tango: Altrincham practica (south Manchester)

"I came out to Altrincham on the tram, 20 mins from central Manchester. Found The Craftsman, a modern nondescript bar two minutes from the station. Went upstairs to see through the plate glass window 3 people and obviously the teacher holding their stomachs and going across the width of the room pivoting. It was so earnest, so typical, I nearly laughed but at the same time I can't tell you how my heart sank. I remembered something from the website about 'exercises' at the start but hoped I could skip those or watch. I couldn't bring myself to stay though and it wouldn't have been right. I noticed the blurb on Tormenta Tango website sounds like it’s veering towards classes. But it is already happening. I suppose this is the "practice" phase of teaching before the actual charging. I nearly took a photo, but couldn't bring myself to in the end and thought it would be mean.

I walked up to the door as the guy pivoted with his class crab-like back towards it. He asked if I had come for the tango. I said yes, hesitantly and asked when the dancing began. He said about 2030. So here I am in the Slug and Lettuce down the road, on a hunch it might have been fractionally less loud than the Craftsman bar (it isn’t) - killing time. On the upside, food is half price on a Monday. The barmaid is sweet and got my order in less than half the 40 minute wait time she warned me about. On the downside, the music's terrible and the food isn't up to much.

*

So I was rather dreading it although I wasn't too worried about what happened here. Still, I thought I should come clean upon introduction. It wasn't an issue and I was glad I went. A number of people had already said Mat's a nice guy.

The room is spartan: seats down one side, a heavily talc-ed floor, bright bulbs.

I found 3 older couples taught by Mike and Leander of Tango Cheshire with whom I danced yesterday in Pant. There was also an interesting lady two years back after spending forty in California. She volunteered in day centres for seniors where she met a polyglot Ivan Shvarts who also runs free tango for veterans. Apparently he believed a lot in dancing tango for health. When we had a conversation about guys treating girls well she said Ivan said that too.

Much later, after I’d danced with four of the people there, Mat invited me. He is tall and I liked dancing with him enough to want to put on heels for the first time since August. Before that was probably over that May bank holiday weekend. Heels three times in six months. All that trust felt strange. Heels make a huge difference to the sense of trust but I think he understood. He said he likes to swap in the practica (like Esquina Porteña for 'tango work') not in the milonga. Different guys have different feelings about this - I get that.  It's good when people are clear although he is probably the first guy I've met who wants to swap only outside the milonga. Anyway, we did swap and danced swapping for maybe the last hour when all bar one couple had left.

Mat commented we had a voyeur. Someone was leaning out the window opposite smoking and watching, behind them a darkened room.  I waved at them to come over :) Then I took the guide role in heels. I was surprised at the end to hear clapping!! Whoever it was had got a friend to watch and might have been filming. Mat called out the window for them to come over but they didn't :)

He said something like he'd just pulled the music together for the practica, that it wasn't proper DJing but a lot of the music he played was nice, the best I heard that weekend including the milonga in Pant (review) and the Manchester pop up milonga (review). He let me choose. I suggested we skip the ?second Pugliese or similar and he agreed. There was nice standard Laurenz instrumentals, nice Calo instrumentals, OK Pugliese, nice Fresedo songs, quite nice Tanturi. 

By the sounds of things he is thinking of cancelling the practica which has been going since February I think because of numbers or perhaps he is just busy or has gone off it. I’m not altogether sure. People there said they usually have 15 and sometimes it is quite busy. But I asked around beforehand about this practica and met virtually no-one who had been though the ones who said they had were good dancers. 

His milonga - 'El huracán' - had 48 the first time, 34 the second and they need that to break even. It's £12 and includes cake, prosecco and there's a bar. Someone from outside the area said me they thought the price a bit steep. I thought not, with prosecco included but had forgotten it is £16 if you want to reserve a table. I imagine it is a £4 supplement for the table, surely not each. I don’t know if you have to pay to reserve in BA. I never heard that. The milonga is in a dance school in I think Sale. He said they don't do it for the money and I believe him. After seeing the lovely pictures of first one I wanted to go to the second one but it was advertised at too short notice for me to make arrangements. I hope to go to the third.

Re numbers at the practica I said how I'd often noticed people treat practicas like social dances probably because they like social dancing and why not. So rather than struggle with a practica, why not meet the market demand and make the milonga monthly as opposed to every second month especially as there is nothing on a Saturday night locally. I’m not sure he liked the logic. He had wanted to do a proper practica where people practice and 'work' because apparently there are other practicas around that are really ‘just’ informal milongas.

When we swapped roles he joked to his students that they could correct the teacher now. I said “Are you a teacher?” knowing he isn’t, officially. “No”, he said a bit sheepishly. And then he said the loveliest thing I heard all evening: “Just a dancer who helps.” "

Note: as of this week, this practica no longer runs. Also, the website has been down a lot at this week and still is but the same page says milongas are still planned.  The note I made of the next milonga when the website was last accessible is Saturday 19th November.

Tea dances in Padanaram and Dundee

Boozing at Chris's in Glasgow on Saturday night and a long rail-replacement bus ride home meant that the next day I was not feeling quite up to taking my children walking around Dunkeld in the glorious Sunday sunshine.  I expect boozing is how it seemed if you'd been looking my way but not to misrepresent things Chris's wine-tastings are highly organised, civilized affairs with such good cheese (I used to live round the corner) that on those days I feel I could never be vegan.

Daddy was back to work in Manchester that afternoon so I took the boys  - protesting heavily - to the tango tea at Padanaram near Forfar for a couple of hours.  The drive on the back roads through Perthshire which Visit Scotland advertises as "Big tree country" was breathtakingly beautiful and I thought  - as regularly - how fortunate in many ways we are to live here. I also lament it at least twice weekly.  But that day the trees and hedgerows were afire, contrasting with the fields bleached to beige from the stubble of the crops recently cut. There were stick figures in some of the darker fields, perhaps tattie picking but I didn't know they still do that. Mostly though the ground has not yet been ploughed to dark or rather the sort of burnt red you see as you travel north of here.  I start to notice that red in the stone once we get to around the village of Kirriemuir, famous for its folk festival, for being the birthplace of JM Barrie and for having one of the four camera obscuras in Scotland.  If you have never seen one of these I particularly enjoyed the one in Dumfries museum - but then I was the only attendee that day.  It is only about half an hour from three points on the M74 if you are driving north or south.  Sorry to digress but there are so many marvellous places here and I find it hard not to recommend them.  

As you can see, the venue at Padanaram is still attractive and nicely presented. 

The excellent refreshments cheered both children immeasurably.  I thought the concession price too cheap for two hungry boys, tried to pay full price for all of us but was not allowed and we settled for £15.   My younger son, not usually shy, asked me to introduce him to a little girl who was there and to invite her to play with him; thereafter they played happily outside the hall.  Today he said he enjoyed it so much he wants me to take him next time. 

Things were very similar to the last time I went with numbers up to perhaps 40-odd,  including the organisers, helpers and DJ - very creditable, especially in Angus.  People had travelled from (at least) around Dundee, Aberdeen and even Edinburgh.

Space was tight at the tables and as we arrived an hour after it had started I wasn't at all sure where we could squeeze in.  I went to see about extra chairs just as the organisers were doing the same.

The DJ was again John Newton. There were cortinas and people used them, clearing the floor.  There was a clearly discernible ronda.

I danced the last track of a Rodriguez tanda. 

Example tracks (to the best of my knowledge):

Etincelles, F Canaro (vals) 1936

Plata Vieja, Juan Carlos Cobián - (1923). I remember being surprised, but still this may be a mistake because I can hardly remember hearing a tango this early played in a milonga

Sur Troilo/Rivero (1948),

Mentira Carabelli /Lafuento (1931)

A mi madre, Carlos Garcia

Olga, De Angelis, (1954) 

Canaro, Florindo Sassone (1956)

Mi noche triste, Sassone (1949)

I saw a woman I didn't know and wanted to dance with but after the Sassone, when Milonga negra, by Mercedes Simone struck up, decided to call it a day.

For comparison, we went on to a swing tea-dance held by Dundee university in the Bonar Hall. This was part of their annual Riverside Stomp, a big weekend with visiting teachers and several social dances. I have seen the hall done up for the couple of ceroc dances I once went to but for the swing it just looked a bit like a gymnasium. The contrast with Padanaram in decor could not have been more apparent. Here it was just about people, music and dance.  There was a temporary floor taped to the wooden floor, similar to the one I saw at Rotterdam.

Heavenly setting under the sun, and a huge sky, Wilhelminapier beside the river Maas, Rotterdam, August.

At the Bonar hall there was no seating, beside the stage that I recall, and the floor.

Numbers were probably forty and rising while we were there, with swing and lindy dancers from all over Scotland and possibly beyond.  Most people were in jeans and t-shirts with one or two dressed for the scene. I like the music, the clothes and the atmosphere I find at swing socials.  Most people were probably in their twenties though there were a very few probably in their thirties and forties. Of refreshments I saw water and a plate of biscuits.

I said we had just come to watch for a short while and who should we pay but they didn’t charge us and even said if we wanted to join in, we could. We sat on the stage for maybe twenty minutes.  It was casual and easygoing, with much of the quirky creativity and self-expression that I have seen at other swing dance socials. I asked the boys which music and dancing they preferred and both said the swing though couldn't say why.  I think it was because it looked younger, more fun and relaxed.

Manchester Pop-Up milonga 5 at The Whisky Jar

On Sunday 16th October, the day after the milonga in Pant, I went to the Manchester popup milonga run not, as I thought just by John Tan and Stephanie but also by Paris and Helen as a team of four. It ran from 1300-1800. I love a milonga of five or six hours duration. The times meant people could travel quite far and still get home on a Sunday night.

Accommodation

Wonderfully, this milonga says it will try to host you if you need to stay over. I usually stay with my brother now local after relocating with the BBC, but couldn’t this time. The post said don’t be shy but I wasn’t that brave. Besides I was staying four nights and made other arrangements.

Location
The milonga is very central in the basement of The Whisky Jar. It is in the trendy Northern quarter which my brother described as “hip and bohemian”. On the way, I got a bit lost down some back alleys and came across this:

  

It presaged the afternoon well.  What I felt about that milonga was a bit like the feelings I had from that graffiti:  surprising, a bit glam, a bit underground, creative, exotic, unusual.

The bar upstairs is spacious, the decor is brick and wood with leather sofas. 

At the foot of the basement stairs are closed black doors. It felt like entering a sort of cave. I thought it quite magical.  Before I went someone said they had heard it described as ‘enchanting’ and it was.

Fairy lights were everywhere. Orchids decorated the bar. The glassware gleamed, strawberries glistened. There were bowls of picture clips for your drinks, beautiful fans, little baskets of chocolates and I think chewing gum. If it was I would have swapped it for mints because I don’t dance with people chewing gum and don’t like to see it in the milonga. Really, though there was just such attention to detail.

Welcome and hosting
The welcome from Stephanie and Helen on the door was quite lovely and included a glass of prosecco with strawberries.

There is an adjoining room at the far end for coats/changing shoes etc, which I am pleased to find increasingly standard in most of the milongas I visit.  I was early and put down my drink on a table while I went to change my shoes. I was surprised though when evidently one of three or four people at that table had swiped my drink - so drink up then get ready! 

Perfect hosts, Helen and Stephanie greeted and said goodbye to everyone. The guys said hello too. I danced with Paris soon after I arrived. Entrada was very reasonable at £8. I know from my own experience and from talking to hosts that most of them especially those who run occasional milongas with visiting DJs who charge can struggle to cover costs.

All the hosts danced which is good because they can feel what sound and dance conditions are really like. The floor is small and towards the end I saw Paris and Helen dancing beautifully in the difficult conditions, he using his body to protect her, both taking small steps, using little space. 

Sometimes I took time out to watch, removed a bit from the bar. On these occasions both Stephanie and Helen asked if I was OK.

A day or two later I received a message to say thank you for travelling. I had come to Manchester for various reasons but the timing was because of the popup. It reminded me of a story from decades ago that my parents had told me about a wealthy, charming man with lovely manners who had invited them to a party and then he had written to his guests to thank them for coming.

Lighting

Paris apologised to me on arrival and later on to all for the dim lighting caused by an electrical failure. This was when he made an announcement for the host of another milonga who was there about the new, permanent change of venue for their Wednesday night milonga (has classes beforehand).

Venue and seating

As you enter, to your right is a long bar with stools. The bar is not staffed but there is the bar upstairs and it is nice to go up for a breather now and then. There is a corner seating area and low table which would fit maybe eight people. There was a long bench on the opposite side of the floor, parallel with the bar but if you sit there your feet and legs are right on the edge of the line of dance. When I sat there, it was cross-legged.

The temperature became warm but there were lots of fans. It was not unpleasantly warm for me but had I liked the music more and danced more, I suspect it might have been.

The loos weren’t as in Buenos Aires (what could be?!) but just as there, the locks on two out of the three loos were broken, so - as as is de rigeur in the ladies in Buenos Aires - one is extra-circumspect about closed doors.

Floor 
...was OK for me, better than I'd expected from seeing photos. One or two people described the floor layout as it had been previously, where people had danced out to the bar. Crates in place now prevent this so the floor is rectangular. There was a packed outer circle to the ronda and an often much freer inside space. John must think if the space is there, use it because I often found him there, giving the lie to the idea that only poor dancers dance in the middle.

Music 
The music was by DJ Benedicte Beauloye, aka Bomboncita. It was not what I personally prefer. I heard two great tracks of a D’Arienzo tanda as I arrived near the start - type El internado (1938). Then there was Di Sarli sextet but of the type DJ Solveig played in May, and that sort of choice I unfortunately heard several times that bank holiday weekend. In the first part of the afternoon I recall some Guardia vieja but not endlessly. I remember much later there was great Biagi tanda but there were lots of "specials" for me that I have never heard. There was probably a whole Garcia tanda I don’t think I knew.  I remember a Laurenz tango tanda composed of what I think of as second rate Laurenz - Yo quiero cantar un tango and Como un hornero - not awful but not the best for me; Laurenz to get through more than to dance. There was rhythmic music for a while. Eg. milonga, then rhythmic instrumentals (good Troilo I think) and other strong and rhythmic tracks also adjacent which I thought at that point too much of one thing, especially given how busy it was.

Generally I found the vals good although there were some that were very unusual. One, Amante soñador by Orquesat tipica porteña (1930) of these was clapped which rather astonished me. I thought it more bland than sweet but perhaps it will grow on me. Admittedly the sound quality was better than this but I couldn’t help thinking I would almost rather have heard the waltz from Aram Khachaturian’s 1944 Masquerade Suite that turned up on the radio on the journey south. Certainly for listening I would rather have heard that What a magical waltz though to play for children in the run-up to Christmas.

Later there was a slide into more dramatic music. I suppose you could say there was “something for everyone” if you were to try to cover all corners of the kind of tango music you might hear rather than trying to please a majority most of the time. Still, the floor was usually busy. The penultimate track was Dizzy Gillespie's Vida Mia (1956) which I find later he did with Fresedo. I watched a full floor and - surprised - found myself enjoying it. Gillespie, wholly steals the piece. Musically, it felt like a reprisal just as the tango era was giving way to something else, the soaring trumpet like a glorious farewell.  It got rapturous applause.

Invitation
...I found not the easiest because:

- there were a lot of people I didn’t know and knowing people is the main thing I find that increases one’s likelihood of dancing. As in most places, I suspect the thing here is simply knowing people. 

- invitation happened mostly all down the bar and at the seating area. This means that options for inviting women were either at close quarters - too close for me, really - or that you had to look down the bar. Even at 6’ I couldn't see down to the end of the bar because of the crush of people. 

- being so busy, it became more natural to invite in conversation. I prefer not to invite this way but like many I don't want to be ridiculous about things and it depends on the conditions too.  

I also invited successfully:

- from the bench or the bar across the floor width-ways.  All the same, I could see and was told by people there that invitation at the bench was hard that day because of the lighting. 

- down the length of the room - but only after moving on to the edge of the floor so I could see. 

So I invited all these ways but if you need or prefer certain conditions for invitation, you may find this venue difficult. If I didn’t get the girl I wanted to dance with I did not then usually try for another because apart from anything else that would invariably mean re-positioning oneself which was difficult in those conditions and would contribute to an unpleasant scrum if everyone did it. 

Ronda 

People arrived throughout the afternoon, which tells you firstly there is no point in a DJ playing an “arc” of music following the supposed arc of the afternoon - a DJ who simply plays a varied selection will suit those coming and going rather than playing for the few who stay the whole time who might well not notice anyway. 

The floor became very busy. If you are a dancer very skilled in the ronda with a great partner whom you know and you know the people around you maybe it's fine. But if you are not particularly skilled dancing in a tight ronda, and you are dancing with an average partner whom you don't know and you don't know the people around it might be very difficult. The problems came as usual I find, with guys who are or who pretend to be oblivious to others. Most people made an effort and were careful so it was probably better than the Edinburgh festivalito ronda. Still there was the escort of another organiser who had a thing about dancing very slowly. The empty space in front of him lengthened and lengthened. Oddly, he faced me against the ronda and stayed there but did not or would not acknowledge me. I couldn't move. He couldn't move towards me and he couldn't step backwards because he didn't know what was there so he had multiple “moments” with his partner while the ronda ground to a halt behind me. His arm was permanently stuck out awkwardly, poking people.  Another tall, very experienced dancer deliberately stuck his arm out in that tight space, claiming more space than was his fair share, though I rather think what one supposes that is depends on the size of one's ego and sense of entitlement.  My arm was tucked right in but ours still collided. A new dancer in front of me did a little to and fro jig on the spot while not using the empty space in front of him. My partner and I stopped dancing to watch that mini show until he decided to move on. There was a psychotic guy who was maniacal enough with good women dancers and terrifying when he danced with a diva in heels, alarming the dancers and those on the long bench. I saw, disbelieving, one guy dancing in socks in those conditions.  A partner of mine was grazed, just avoiding a major slicing and I am surprised there was no medical emergency that day.   

It didn’t help that the music was pumping on that packed floor, whereas I feel on a very busy floor with much variety in dance experience a DJ needs to be very careful with rhythmic music and intersperse those tandas with steadier De Angelis, D’Agostino, (I’m not sure I heard either of those in tango) good Canaro , OTV, Fresedo (I recall none of the latter) and music of this sort else the floor just gets too hyped.  I believe there is a strong link between poor floorcraft and the music DJs play. So between all these things I found it quite stressful and I don't want to dance with (especially new) partners in those conditions. If I go back it will be with the intention of dancing early.

On the other hand because it is so intimate it is very easy to chat. It is a great place to meet people from the area and beyond.

Dancing

The only other guy I danced with was someone I know.  I saw several good guy dancers but noticed no invitation from these.  I wasn’t really looking.  Women were in excess and there were many with whom I wanted to dance and who wanted to dance with me. After the floor got busy though each time we parted, in our looks and few spoken words I felt mutually conveyed the hope that we would dance better if we have the chance in easier conditions. I danced enough for those conditions, probably more than enough. I noticed a woman dancer great in both roles danced relatively little too.

What they said

I think everyone agrees the welcome is lovely. You are acknowledged and feel cared for. That is passed on among the dancers and is just one of many reasons why the welcome is so important. The feeling there was mostly warm for me.

Some like me, commented on the effort that had gone in to the decor. 

Some people said the lighting was quite dim even on occasions when the lights are restored. 

Some women I think didn’t feel danced but that is a common theme in milongas, especially trendy ones that attract young and pretty women. 

Someone said for a while they didn’t recognise any tracks at all. 

The main issue I heard repeated was about the ronda but many people liked or were curious enough about that milonga to go and to dance.

This milonga won’t be for everyone, especially those who like tables, seats, space and the formality that often accompanies that arrangement in British milongas  - and a different sort of formality that accompanies it in Buenos Aires. The popup is a different vibe.  Rather it is for those curious about different DJs, who enjoy the welcome and the aesthetic and who can manage or tolerate the ronda. And for someone - especially new people - who just wants to spend an afternoon meeting dancers and watching them dance it is ideal. It is especially good for solo dancers and if it is not clear why that is more about that maybe another time.  

Going there reminded me a little of visiting The Flying Duck vegan bar/diner in Glasgow, somewhere a bit surreal, a different world to the regular one.



 I loved that feeling: as though you are entering another world, a semi-secret sub-culture. Because who would have thought that on a Sunday afternoon in the basement of a bar beneath the streets of Manchester a group of seventy-odd men and women of all ages were packed into an atmospheric room, dancing. 

Milonga in Pant, Shropshire

I had several second thoughts about leaving my children for a few days. They had remembered because that day there were extended morning cuddles. My elder son popped corn for me for the journey. The little one put some apples in a paper bag and they both pressed on me some of their precious sweets acquired on a morning supermarket run with daddy. Under this deluge I felt loved and guilty about leaving.  Love swirls always between us yet I knew without a parting there would not have been quite the same outpouring of affection.  As I drove away I turned on the radio and found it tuned to Classic FM. On school mornings my organised and conscientious elder son puts it on while he waits for the rest of us to get in the car.  I was leaving my family to drive five hours in pouring rain to a milonga about which I already had  reservations.

The rain cleared though and about four-thirty I stopped in Chester for a look around.

The milonga had seemed to have no Facebook event. I mentioned to some people there how surprised I had been that I knew of only one person who had been to this milonga and few even in the north who had even heard of it. It is because it isn’t advertised they said. I wasn’t sure about that. It was, after all, on TangoTimetable. 

I arrived to find a typical British village hall - they are great for dances - with parking.  There were coat pegs outside but no one was using them. I left my shoes there but was the only one to do so.  People changed their shoes in the hall.

I went to get ready and heard as I did so what was part of probably the first or second tanda: Troilo/Fiorentino - Cada vez que me recuerdes (1943) and Pa que seguir (1942), then Cada vez que me recuerdes (for sure) a second time. If I was mistaken about the first one I can’t think what else it could have been unless those lyrics are repeated elsewhere.  I thought these tracks an odd choice for this time of the evening.

Welcome, venue and hosting

The room was good sized, of pleasant dimensions with perhaps six or eight people already there. More people arrived gradually.  The furnishings seemed spare but the place had a warm glow. The DJ table was to the left of the door set back a bit from the floor, surrounded by fairy lights. Entrada is £7. I was warmly welcomed and oriented to the tea and coffee by host Sharon Koch who was also DJing. 

Sharon accompanied me across the floor to the seating area set up well, I thought, with tables and chairs cafe-style at the far end.  These were sufficient for the numbers who arrived though not perhaps if as a couple you wanted to keep to yourselves.  Most people though I find come out to dance with and meet others at least in part.  Sharon introduced me to several people.  

The kitchen behind the seating area had tea, coffee, some biscuits and pears on the table. A few more bits and pieces arrived over the course of the evening. Apparently people make contributions.  I was glad of the tea as I was cold when I arrived and wore a wrap sometimes but as to the what the hall temperature was like, it's hard to say as I don't think I was very representative that day.

 I felt welcomed and looked after:  I sat alone but Sharon came to sit and chat then invited me to dance and said nice things. Later on a chatty, friendly couple joined my table while I was away from it.  After they left early as I was sitting out a lot and she came to see if I was OK.  I was but it was nice to chat a bit more.

Then, part way through the evening there was first one and then another announcement:  “Would whoever does not normally dance here please remove whatever is on their shoes that is making the floor too slippy and wipe their feet.”  I think I was perhaps the only person who didn't normally dance there.  These days I am so worried about wrecking my knee from the single man-handled pivot by a poor dancer who invites me in a way that makes it socially difficult to refuse, or about whom I have made a mistake, that my shoes often have stuff on them to protect against that risk if I discover I have not managed to avoid it.  Also few floors are top notch and again cause injury.  That day, experience causing me to be cautious of all the unknowns perhaps they had too much; for sure I hadn't realised it was affecting others. Perhaps if milonga organisers impressed upon men the effects of asking women directly, this might be less necessary.  Usually I would own up and apologise but being almost named in public was pretty alarming in itself.   

The hall was done up prettily yet with so few props, I thought it quite an art and wanted to remember it. There was some dark red material with a shine to it, pinned behind the DJ wall.  There were tea lights and fairy lights around the seating area.  When there were only three couples on the floor, most out of shot or unrecognisable I went outside the salon doorway to take a quick and distant snap of the room, to get just a general sense of the decor.  Sharon had been dancing but she sees everything and was on to me immediately.  She just said: “No one likes to be filmed” but it was so final I didn’t bother to explain.  While there I asked someone about what, later driving home I thought of as defensiveness.  The dancer said it was part of making people "feel safe".  So perhaps it was protectiveness.  Perhaps not.

The floor though, I think I can fairly safely show you was like this.  I think most people probably found it ordinarily OK.

Mid evening I asked Sharon if there were about forty people. "No", she said, honestly, "probably thirty", though apparently they have had fifty. 

- "Oh, it feels busier", I said.

- "People come here to dance" she replied. "They don't sit around much".  
I was sitting around quite a lot and, being solo, noticeably so. I decided whilst it might be wise not to forget this remark, to try not to take it as too pointed, though that was becoming harder.   I looked about.  People were in fact sitting around quite happily and chatting. I remarked on this. It was impossible not to see it as just social and very relaxed. She agreed but I had a slight sense that“Yes, that’s all very well but you can do that anywhere - here we come to dance”.  

Sharon is straightforward. I found her frank, funny, a bit outrageous, probably fearless and fairly scary. Still there is something refreshing about some of that directness. She tells you what she thinks and how it is and I appreciate that more than any snake in the grass. She has strong opinions which I felt would brook little opposition still less change which is why I put forward no contradictory opinions.  She struck me as someone who goes about things in a businesslike way.  

Music

My main concern about this milonga had been the silent cortinas I had seen advertised on the website.   I have mentioned the problems as I see them of silent cortinas in Edinburgh several times previously and about being cortinaless - which is nearly the same thing.

The set was indeed with silent cortinas that were so short the tandas effectively ran together.  I had some conversations about this while there.

The music was mostly from the Golden Era. There were some good tandas for me but I found a lot of the tracks and therefore the tandas problematic which is why I felt I did not dance that much.  Still in retrospect I had perhaps seven or eight partners which is probably record-breaking for me lately.

Potential DJs within this group are able to try playing their own selection of the music for I think it is an hour, from 8pm. It was Sam, the trial DJs first time. If I recall well there was one good track for me in the Lomuto but most people danced all those tracks.  I was impressed by three good OTV tangos together, which I find is more than many DJs manage.  I think at least three out of four of the Donato tangos were good for me. Then three good Donato milonga. 

Here follows exactly an example of some of the problems you encounter with dodgy music and no cortinas:  A guy had earlier by half walking up invited me to the third track of what, up to that point had been good Laurenz.  At the end of that tanda I started to leave the floor. He asked: did I want to continue? I liked dancing with him very much. I marvelled how someone who lived ninety minutes from his nearest (and I think only) milonga could dance so well. “Sharon” he said, modestly. In reply I said "Lets see what music comes next."  Being then I think some sort of Guardia Vieja I declined saying I would love to dance to something else.

Much later we were chatting when suddenly there was Cafe Dominguez the last track I think of an otherwise indifferent De Angelis tanda.  I asked him if he wanted to dance it. I had a lot of doubts about the vals which followed  (a different tanda).  Because I so liked dancing  with him I was about to give in and dance it but decided it would be a mistake.  Though I regretted leaving him, I realised as I walked away  hearing the development of the music that it had been the right thing to do.  He was extraordinarily patient and understanding, but since he was the kind of person I like to dance with it was so not surprising.  

Regarding other music:  Sharon said that she usually plays D'Agostino tangos from the 40s but that night it was from the 50s.   I remember a very good Rodriguez tanda later on, then, near the end a wholly lovely tanda of four Fresedo, which I danced feeling much gratitude to both the current DJ and the partner with whom I danced it. I heard three good Caló tracks as I was preparing to leave (I didn’t hear the last one). 

Most of the music was rhythmic. There was some of the romantic type Di Sarli. Surprisingly, the last track of that tanda changed to more rhythmic music so I danced it. I asked Sharon why there was so little of the more softer, more lyrical music generally. She was characteristically forthright: she doesn’t like it. She plays a bit to keep the peace but that’s it. "There are other places people can go if they want to rub each other’s legs", she said with such scorn that take aback by the image and the tone I couldn’t help laughing . There is also that expectation I felt that people get up and dance.  I felt the idea there is that rhythmic music gets you dancing.  It does, but so does softer music. Again though I didn’t feel there was anything to be gained and probably much to be lost by saying differently.

Nothing was said explicitly but I came away with the impression that dancing Argentine tango here is not really about connection with another personality, that that might be too slushy a notion; that is was more about movement and "thinking about things to do" (I heard this said) and an upright posture and a sort of required dynamism to the “more suitable” rhythmic music.  

Ronda and dancing

Admittedly, it was not cramped or overcrowded but the ronda here was very nice.

Just about everyone seemed to dance in the embrace. There were a number of nice dancers, especially among the women, a surprising number of whom danced both roles, usually with each other. Of the men I enjoyed two of the three guys I danced with.  I saw another over whom I hesitated but by the time, later on, I had decided “yes” he seemed to have lost interest and left early. 

I find it pretty much impossible to turn down any guy sitting at the same table as me who invites me and accepted the man of the couple who had joined my table. They also left early.  When I asked why it was because he had a cold but they had “made the effort" to come out she said. I knew what Janis would say about that.  They had a special event the next day so wanted to be fit for tit. I hoped I would be too and would not infect the baby nieces I had come to visit and not have to miss the Manchester pop up milonga for which I had driven so far.

Atmosphere

I did start to wonder if I was "sitting too much" but the absurdity of that notion didn't trouble me in any seriousness.  "For who"? I have learned is a good response to this sort of query.   I wondered if my shoes were OK, if between my attempted photo and who knows what else I had done this or that wrong.  I realised these slight worries came less from me and more from the tone of the milonga but this sense I had was not coming from the dancers.  The tone of a milonga is generally I find set by a host.  I felt there was much personal preference dictating things here and wondered what the difference is between inflicting your own personal preferences on people and creating an environment of shared preferences.  Unquestionably, though there were thirty people who chose to share these preferences that night, even if, by 2230 many had left.

One of the lovely things about this milonga was that I was not "blanked". People acknowledged I existed. Even though I was far from accepting all guy invitations by look and might have been considered snobbish I did not feel judged, or hassled, or ignored. I did though dance with more women in both roles. 

Later on a guy walked up to invite me but when I said “Not just now thank you” he accepted it immediately and in an understanding way. In general I felt a sort of tolerant benevolence from the group. Some people did talk about about classes and teachers and “we believe”. I always find that a bit alarming in a group, preferring independent opinion. I had a sense of a place run very much from the top, but I didn't talk or dance with enough people to say so with conviction. A strong host in some ways is useful though: when it comes to floorcraft.

This milonga left me feeling conflicted.  I was unquestionably welcomed here by  Sharon and was far from ignored by the dancers here.  But there was also, unspoken - and not from the dancers - a sense, a kind of warning about conforming, fitting in, toeing all the lines, knowing and respecting who is top-dog. You can drop-in but it is not really a drop-in milonga. It seemed more a milonga for Sharon’s established teaching group.  I am curious about whether I would find much attendee overlap at the other local milongas.

I left quietly during the second track of the last tanda towards 11pm.  Sharon made a point of waving goodbye from the floor as did my partners from that evening. It was a nice way to end. 

The roads north to Manchester were excellent and I was back about 0015.